After clarifying one thing with my last post I was excited to move on to the much more fun task of collecting clues in my attempt to determine if Douglas Ernst hates America, but it seems that I need to again clarify some claims I’ve made to appease my numerous (note: 2, maybe 3) fans. “You haven’t posted one single thing to support the fact that Douglas Ernst makes shit up.” My overly critical imaginary girlfriend stated (with all the criticism lately, she’s dangerously close to becoming my imaginary ex-girlfriend. I envision her imaginary replacement as a spirited redhead that pretends to get angry when I call her “Firecrotch” in front of my friends.) So, I guess I have to backtrack one more time to provide some proof of my claim that Douglas Ernst makes shit up. I don’t really want to, so I’m not going to do any additional research and just note some of the things I’ve noticed while compiling my other posts. If I were to do some actual research I could only imagine the magnitude of things I could list when I attempt to answer the question: is Douglas Ernst a lying liar that lies?
First off, defining what is and isn’t a lie is subjective; I’m not going to define the word “is” to prove whether or not a bj is considered sex (I’m looking at you President Clinton ಠ_ಠ). I’m going to say that if Douglas Ernst says something that isn’t 100% true, and doesn’t bother to address the fact that it isn’t 100% true, then Douglas Ernst is making shit up. If you want to say that he’s committing a lie of omission, that is one way to phrase it, but I’m just going to say that Douglas Ernst makes shit up. With that rule in place, let us continue.
When talking about a Tyler Perry Madea movie the one thing I’ve never heard anyone except Douglas Ernst say is that they are a “Big, Happy, Critic-Proof Movie.” In fact, if you went to http://www.RottenTomatoes.com and looked for how well critics received the “Madea” films you would see that they were all poorly reviewed. Why would Douglas Ernst call them “critic-proof” if almost every critic hated it? Because Douglas Ernst makes shit up. He provides a quote from one person out of literally hundreds of critics across the country that reinforces his obsession with race, or racism, and makes it appear that “Madea” movies are above criticism because of Tyler Perry’s race. Listing the low average scores for the Madea movies doesn’t fit with his narrative that black people are “critic-proof” and all the white liberal devils are overly protective of anything related to criticizing black people’s creative works so they won’t be crucified as racists. Also, please note how Douglas Ernst intentionally went out of his way to make shit up about his obsession with race, or racism, when no one but himself prompted him to do so.
If I had never read a single Douglas Ernst rant I would never even stopped to think that “those who are serious about weight lifting tend to either a.) have a conservative a streak that runs through them or b.) are much more open to considering the conservative point of view. Is that statement true? We don’t know because Douglas Ernst doesn’t provide any sources for someone to confirm they’re suspicions that he’s lying. Why would Douglas Ernst make this bizarre claim when he couldn’t possibly prove it? Because Douglas Ernst makes shit up. When I stopped to think about it, I realized that this is one of the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever read. Which of these two scenarios is more likely: every person that lifts weights is a conservative, or, Douglas Ernst only lifts weights with conservatives?
Even though slavery was legal until 1865 Douglas Ernst thinks the founding fathers did more than enough to combat the evils of slavery by secretly including passive phrases in three different documents that in no way, shape, or form, outlawed slavery. The more realistic facts regarding the founding fathers and slavery is that they turned a blind eye to it so the colonies could be united to fight the revolutionary war, and this can be proven by things like listing slaves as 3/5 of a person in the constitution. Facts and reason do not matter to Douglas Ernst, all you have to do to see why he thinks he’s right is “Read The Declaration of Independence, The Federalist Papers, and the U.S. Constitution really closely.” Of course, even Douglas Ernst has to acknowledge that reading 3 different documents really closely doesn’t make the documents travel back in time and outlaw slavery, keep the union from shattering, or prevent the civil war from being fought to rebuild said union. Why would Douglas Ernst say that the founding fathers did something that they didn’t do? Because Douglas Ernst makes shit up. Douglas Ernst knows it is important to white-wash the founding fathers so he can then use their personal lives to justify things that aren’t in the constitution that they wrote, because he doesn’t want to obey the constitution that they wrote. Here is how the arguments Douglas Ernst use work: State sponsored prayer in a public school? The founding fathers were Christians, and infallible, so just ignore the fact that they intentionally left it out of the constitution and legalize it anyway.
Hopefully this post will appease the beast and allow us to continue on our journey, unimpeded, until the bitter end. I hope that you can decide for yourself whether or not Douglas Ernst is a lying liar that lies when he intentionally makes shit up for the purpose of supporting his various themes. Once again, I apologize for yet another side step and I hope you’ll stay with me so that together we can determine whether or not Douglas Ernst hates America.
Smurfalot
Does Douglas Ernst Hate America? 